All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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