i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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