This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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