We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
