Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
