I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
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I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
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I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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