i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
