respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
