Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
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I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight