Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
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The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.