are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
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If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
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it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.