May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
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I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.