he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
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The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
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Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass