we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.