people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER