No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.