i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
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Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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