She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
