i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
