Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
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Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Two words: nipple clamps
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