direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just had sex on a roof
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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