8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
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He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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