Need sex. Gaining weight.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
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I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.