Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
