Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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