that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
