Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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