I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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