I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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