I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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