i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.