Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.