I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
