If i come over, it means nothing
Where is the hickey?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize