just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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