i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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