is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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