My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
