I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So many bounce houses so little time
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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