i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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