New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize