i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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