Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize