return my video game
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
