mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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