i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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