WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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