I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize