thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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