On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
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Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think a kid would responsible me up
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Pooping to opera.
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