THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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