When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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