I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
