Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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