Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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