sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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